i finally found this test!!

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 96% Emergent/Postmodern 79% Classical Liberal 75% Reformed Evangelical 71% Charismatic/Pentecostal 68% Neo orthodox 61% Fundamentalist 61% Modern Liberal 54% Roman Catholic 14% What's your theological worldview? created with QuizFarm.com

I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty suprised with the results of this test. Very suprised, for the most part. I also did it pretty quick and didn't get some of the questions, though.
But, still. Wow.
I can't believe how far down Pentacostal is...

Dear Blog:
My dad woke me up at 7:30 for school and got me tea from Tim Hortans. I got up at 11:30. I was ill-prepared for school by 12:30 pm. Shawn Hildebrandt drove me to school and critisized my footware. I discussed the modern sociological importance of Pajama Day with the mystery four-year-old in the backseat. Emma Hildebrandt refused to pray for me, I'll recover, one day. We're still watching Schindler's List in Religions class. It's now termed: "The most depressing class EVER".
Wild Truth, and probably Bible Study, are cancelled for the night. I'm gonna give my all to get to Hosanna tomorrow, I'll talk to the girls tonight.
I'm gonna read the Bible hardcore tonight, I need it. I just love the Bible a lot. Or something.
I'm almost done Joshua. Pretty sure it's my favorite book, weird as that is. It's probably all the Salvo in me.

Peace and Grace and Snow-safety be yours <3

HOW DID PENTACOSTAL GET SO FAR DOWN THE LIST!?

To Write Love On Her Arms

+It is estimated that 15% or roughly 17 million Americans suffer from depression.
+It affects rich and poor, young and old, black and white.
2/3 are never treated.
+They do not recognize the illness, and see it as a weakness or personality flaw.
+Untreated depression is the most common cause of suicide.
+In Australia, New Zealand and Japan, there are more suicides than murders.
+Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people.
+Depression is treatable.
+Cutting was very much a mystery until 1996 when Princess Diana admitted that she had struggled with it.
+Cutters use physical pain as an attempt to calm or numb the psychological pain. They cut the outside in an attempt release the pain on the inside.
+Cutting is an attempt to stop the hurting, an attempt to be clean.
+Cutters and addicts seek the familiar, even if it's pain. This is completely foreign to most of us.
+Cutters believe pain is their only option, using greater pain as relief from the pain inside.

There is hope. Rescue is possible.


Go to the site, read the story.

"We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love...
We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home."
-Jamie Tworkowski
www.myspace.com/towriteloveonherarms

Much peace and great grace <3
Caitlyn.

Flohiem Regime

So there is snow EVERYWHERE. Which is tough, because I have nothing to wear for such circumstances. My slip on shoes and Cons arn't exactly winter-compatible footware. I'll live, in numerous layers of pajamas.
For christmas, I'm pretty much expecting stuff off of onetruth.com and CDs, which I don't hate.
Christmas is going to be awkward, with the whole having a Jehovah's Witness dad thing. I think how it's going is that we're going away and he's staying here. His call.

There's not a whole lot worth writing about, I don't think.
Stuff I'm looking forward to:
Religions Field Trip: Dec. 7th-Victoria Synagog+Roman Catholic Cathedral (Victoria friends: come have lunch with me!)
Spoken word: Dec. 8th- Caitlyn performs some of her spoken word poetry and prose at Wellington Secondary School!
Taylor Craig's birthday weekend: Dec 16-17- sleeeeepoverrrr
MANAFEST: Dec 18-Duncan, The Oasis Church Cowichan Camp
War College Trip: Dec ? Carlye+Nicole+Caitlyn go on an adventure to the War College!
Full Circle Sermon: May 27th - Caitlyn Preaches the whole sermon at Full Circle!

No one says that.

You're acting sketchy and you really started scaring me. What the hell is going on, boy? I'm reading between lines and reading into things, but you and your house have been resting heavy on my heart for a week straight. This isn't okay, I wouldn't feel this burdened if there wasn't something messed up.
Why aren't you talking to me? Why aren't we trying to fix this? I thought we were there for eachother, I thought we were brother and sister in Christ; partners in war.
What is happening? What is wrong?Am I wrong in believing that something is messed up?
I swear on the third night, I'll be there. I swear I won't let this go. I won't let you fall, as God's always used you for catching me.
Damn, What the hell is going on and why aren't you talking to me?
I love you, know that. I have faith in this. In you, in He and His faith for you.
This is weird. You're always the strong one, you're always the one saving me.

Peace and grace. <3
And, yes, this is an entry I'm praying will be read by one particular person.

Keep looking up and heading there

I just love you like crazy.
I've said I'm sorry, and I'm so done with dwelling. Blessed be your AMAZING name.
Damn forgivness feels amazing. Thank you for holding me through all that.

I was in my shower, wondering if I'd ever get out of this place of unsurity, and God just slammed me. I just sat in my shower crying for 10 minutes, begging for revival of Spirit. It was a shower-water baptism, that's what that was.

I feel amazing.
There are no words.
Hallelujah, Hosanna!
Praise unto the Lord, our god, the mighty One.

Peace and GRACE to you.
<3

Stuff that's made me think tonight.

Takin hold, breaking in
The pressures on me to circulate.
Mesmerized, taken in;
I'm moving slow, so it reasonates.
It's time to rest, not to sleep away
My thoughts alone, try to complicate
I'll do my best, to seek you out
And be myself, not impersonate

I tried so hard to not walk away
And when things don't go my way
I'll still carry on and on just the same

I've always been strong
But can't make this happen
'Cause I need to breathe, I want to breathe you in
The fear of becoming
I'm so tired of running
And I need to breathe, I want to breathe you in
I want to breathe you in

I'm going in, so cover me
Your compass will, help me turn the page
The laughing stock I'll never be
Because I won't let them take me

Took awhile to see all the love that's around me
Through the highs and lows there's a truth that I've known
And it's You
-Thousand Foot Krutch, Breathe You In.

Pearlanne †My God is a great God † says:
Listen Darlin' I g2g
BUT! You just keep looking up, and heading there.
Don't you worry about falling, as long as God is controlling your pace, and you are simply motivated by his love, then you will live on the promise that even though you fall, you, Caitlyn Spence, will soar indefinately

I think I need to go write. I definetly need to write.

The tear gas burns our eyes.

Okayso. A lot (some) of you know about the crap that went down last week. I'm not gonna go into it, but dude that was some scary stuff. Some of you saw me acting sketchy early in the week, some of you talked to me the night that I almost fell. Damn, that was scary. Just thank you guys so much for your prayers and constant faith. I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to do now. People keep saying that I'm doing something right if I'm sketching satan out that bad, but I think I really need to lay off for a bit.
"Go, consecrate the people. Tell them, 'Consecrate yourselves in preparation for tomorrow; for this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: That which is devoted is among you, O Israel. You cannot stand against your enemies until you remove it."- Josh 7:13
that really spoke to me these past few days. I just spent a week attempting to do God's work with some lameo demon taggin around behind me, and I chose not to tell him to screw off and go back to where he came. That was a bad choice. I crashed and I got burned because I tried to do it all by myself.
Faith doesn't come as fast or easy as I'd like it to. It's a journey and a constant process, the benefits of which are not to be reaped in this life.
Or maybe they kinda are, depending how you look at it or who you ask.

So here we go. A period of consecration. Forcing myself to slow down, be still, and know that He is God. Starting right now.
This is already hard.

To the Hosanna Bible Girls: I'm changing our routine a little bit. We'll talk it out on Thursday. It includes less Quest videos and more scripture. Crazy idea for a Bible study, hey?
To Nicole Brindle: I nexus-messaged you about possibly going to Vancouver this coming weekend, I don't know if you got it yet. I'm game if you are.
To Shawn, Taylor, Carlye and all those who prayed the crap out of me last week: Thank you so much. Be so blessed, I love you like craazy.
To Mike: I have faith in you, God has faith in you. If you're heart is calling you to start this youth church, I'm behind you and beside you all the way.
To Jen: Stop panicking, breathe. Read the Word, a lot and with all you have. You can fight this.
To satan: Step off of God's real estate.
To God: I love you. Thank you. You're ridiculously sweet and I'll choose to believe you can and will heal these wounds.
To Counting Heartbeats: I listened to Joy on repeat the other night until I cried out all the junk I needed to with God.
To Ryan: You're missed, but I don't hate you anymore. I'm still angry, but I forgive you.
To whomever else passes these words: I love you and God loves you. Be blessed.

This battle will be fought until we're called home. The only way we lose is if we all drop arms and turn around. I'm not. I almost did, but I won't. Stay here with me.

When your body wants to run but your heart knows your better than that.
The blood you spill on battlefields I promise you will not go unspent.
Neither will I leave you stranded. The promise rings as our battle cry.
You're never alone, regardless of doubt
but faith comes so easy to some.
-The Classic Crime, Warrior Poet

Peace, Grace, Love and Faith in abundance.
<3

Silence means He's listening, not abandoning

"I actually get frustrated when you don't update your blog"
-Kaite Lloyd.
(and I'm pretty sure that's not how to spell your name<3)

I'm sick. I hate being sick. I am waaaaay too busy to be sick. But this whole day of doing NOTHING was actually pretty nice.
Which leads me to the real problem, I really need to start dropping some of my "priorities".
I'm done with the grad committee and the Gym Riot.
I can probably hand over the Wellington School Bible study.
I can't loose the Hosanna Bible study or Wild Truth.
I need to be IN a Bible study, so I can't drop that.
Youth group I probably need to stick to.
It sucks that ALL of this is on the other side of towwwn.

I also need a job. Apperantly a really, really flexible job.

I love that since I couldn't make it to Hosanna, my girls just read my blog and watched Aaron White preach on youtube. They almost watched a Quest video,but they couldn't do it without me.
I just love those girls so damn much. Tiana, Jen and Keeley: you guys are a blessing and it is an honour for me to serve you and teach you. God's made it pretty clear that I can't leave town until I've invested all that I have into you. You're worried we won't have time, but you'll see. You'll be suprised, don't doubt Him.

I was reading/listening to some Bradley Hathaway today, I almost forgot how much I LOVE him. "Silence" really touched me today. Not because I feel especially disconnected from God, but because I needed to be reminded how important the consept of silence is wtith God. That I'm being too much like Martha when I should be more like Mary, rushing around and foresaking the time that should be spent in silence and reverance.

I'm going to go sleep and attempt NOT throwing up.
Grace and peace <3.

I mourn for you and He hurts way more.

So maybe I'm troubled, maybe I'm a little bothered.
I don't know why.
So maybe I just lied a little bit there, I definetly know why.
The youth are listening to the demons that are stalking them, and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to fix this. How to make them realize that this isn't their fault and that their eternity is going to be stolen from them if they continue to travel such a burdened path.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
-Matthew 11:28-30

Stop waiting until you feel you're fixed!
Stop feeling like this stress and weight is something you have to deal with!
Jesus wants you when you're hurting and lost and upset and downtrodden.
He didn't come for the healthy, he came for the sick.

Stop trying to solve your own problems! Stop listening to the demons weighing you down! They came to kill you, and you will not be free from them by avoiding God, it's what they want you to do.
God freakin CHOSE you. You are his CHILDREN.
Stop feeling like He doesn't love you because things are stressful or hard sometimes.
We don't get to choose all the endings, but I promise this will be worth it.

Heaven is waiting for you
Your FATHER is anticipating your arrival.
He's watching you grow, he rejoices your triumphs and mourns your losses.
Rest in Him! You can not do this alone!
It's hard, I know.
You feel like there's this burden, but you're choosing to abandon the worlds plans for you.
Live for the hope that one day, He will hold you.
And that these stressful weekday evenings
and tired Sunday mornings
will be so worth it.

I have faith in you. I have faith in God's will for you.
Stop pretending that God has no faith in you.

Grace and peace be yours in abundance.
<3.

(God, please don't let these kids lose sight of you. I have faith in you. Love never fails and You are love.
Love them out of this, teach me how to remind them of your love.
In Jesus' precious name
amen. )

Love=playing go fish with old women and Sikh worship leaders

Kailey Menzies is asleep on my floor and I am currantly weighing the pros and cons of sleep.
I'm listening to my sleep playlist, and I'm tired.
But I'm also writing, which apperantly is a bad idea to suspend till morning comes.

I did my grad photos today. It was pretty awkward.
I look great right now, by the way.
We went to the extended care unit of the hospital tonight to hang out with some sweet senior chickas.
There were some hilarious girls there, and I'm stoked on going back to see them.
We went to the Sikh temple yesterday, and it was amazing. I just love them. I was talking to the lady that taught us, and she said she didn't want me to become a Sikh.
And I was like, okay, well, why?
And she started talking about how God was calling me to be a Christian, and how I had to be the truest Christian I can be in order to stay true to the one almighty God Whahaiguru. And that to become a Sikh would be abondoning God's call on my life.
I was like whoa. I just love you.
I just want Jesus to snatch up all the Sikhs.
They're so close, they're just missing that vital link.

Sometimes, when I'm tired, I say out loud what I'm typing.
Right now is one of those times.
I'm excited about having NO PLANS tomorrow!!!
STRESS FREE DAY.

Grace and peace be yours in abundance.
<3

your cheers and laugher will linger here

Dear blog:
SECOND BASE IS AWESOME
3kmenzies

I have nothing of importance to say.

This poem is by Taylor Craig.

I do
well I am a firm believer
that there is no place to go but up
and moreso, once you get there you need to
keep moving
don't slow down
don't break
don't hesitate to speak you mind
as long as your mouth or hand jestures
can keep up
or if the flutter of your eyelashes
could bring a city down in a quarter minute flat

but your eyes and that city aren't what this is about

I've been here for twenty-three seconds, give or
take seven
and I've come to realise more and more that
wherever we are, the people just don't
give a shit (or really do) or fall
right in the middle of the two

and, well; twenty some odd seconds isn't long enough
for a fair assessment really.
so I'll sit back, relax and wait a while longer
because that's what I'm doing right now,
and I really don't want to move.

maybe I'll listen;
maybe not learn, but listen.
listening doesn't take movement, or more specifically me moving;
just noise.
and I might even learn, because they talk too much
or not enough
or bitch a lot
or try to sound much smarter than they are
or give themselves away as foolish
and maybe they aren.
because I've learned that foolish is who we are,
and they're telling the truth when they say that,

"it's really not okay,
you'll fuck up a lot more and
maybe you'll learn; but
after a while, it's just not okay."

But no one says that.
-Taylor Craig

Poetry for Warriors and Lovers.

SO, a lot of you know about my recent love affair with Sikhism.
I freakin love Sikhs. If , for some reason, I was required to join a new religion, I would be a Sikh in a second.
Too bad I love Jesus Christ like crazy, hey?
Seriously though, tomorrow my religions class is going to the Sikh temple on Prudieux St. and I am damn stoked.
I'm gonna have to get some hardcore discernment though. For instance, to enter the temple, my head must be covered. I will put on whatever they need for me to enter out of respect. The next thing I'll need to do is get on my knees and touch my forehead to the ground. That's where I get a litt concerned.
If it's a respect issue, no problem, I'll do it with Christ on my heart. If it's a worship custom, I'm going to have to rely on God's guidance.
Sikhs believe that they and christians believe in the same God, so I don't know if they'll understand that I don't feel comfortable in some practices.
I just love Sikhs.

I wrote something new today, but I'm not sure if I'll post it. It's really my current heart on paper, so I don't care if it's good, it felt amazing to get off my shoulders and onto the lines pages.
I'm gonna start collecting my poetry into a portfolio. It's usually posted online somewhere, but I should be keeping original drafts and poetic scribbles and possible lines in a folder. I made one today. It's a folder and I glued a collage onto the front that says "Poetry for Warriors and Lovers".
I like it.

Freakin stoked about the temple tomorrow, Bible study was sensational tonight, I love everything and everyone.
Pray for guidance for my week and that I may be able to prioritize and STOP STRESSING.

Peace.
<3