lovethisbook

This town is so severe. And silent. It makes me crazy, the silence. I wonder if a person can die from it. There's an invisible force that exerts a stedy pressure on our words like a hand to an open, spurting wound. The town office building has a giant filing cabinet full of death certificates that say choked to death on his own anger or suffocated from unexpressed feelings of unhappiness. Silentium. The only thing you hear at night is the semis barrelling down the highway carting drugged animals off to be attacked with knives. Do not make eye contact with those cows. People here just can't wait to die, it seems. It's the main event. The only reason we're not all snuffed at birth is because that would reduce our suffering by a lifetime. My guidance councellor has suggested to me that I change my attitude about this place and learn to love it. But I do, I told her. Oh, that's rich, she said. That's rich.
-Miriam Toews, A Complicated Kindness

A letter for the warriors

Dear War College:

Expect my application by the end of next week.
I love you all like a wildfire of burning...love.
(burning, aka, incindiary. get it?)

Grace, Caitlyn

Hosanna! We cry desperatly for safety!

The Nanaimo Salvation Army Youth have officially launched a non-denominational Sunday night youth service that runs on the 4th Sunday of every month, it's called Dangerous.
This Sunday was our first run, and God took charge. Mike led worship for the first time, and he was terrific. I preached a sermon called Nehemiah; Doing Not-So-Safe Things To Save Those In Danger. My Mennonite soul mate Karen Travers came out, it was superb. Dave Travers commended my speaking, which I took as a real compliment, as he's...well... Mr. Travers.
I found the service itself a little short. In the end, people didn't want to stop worshipping, and the band ran out of songs, pretty swell.
There was this one point, right after the conclusion of my sermon when Josh Reno comes up and asks me for the mic. I obliged, of course, because there's hardly anything I adore more than Josh Reno when he gets touched by the Spirit. And Josh gets up and starts talking about a homeless dude he met named Henry who swept the Thrift Store parking lot just because it was dirty. The Lord had lain him on Josh's heart and Josh got up and proclaimed it and sat back down. I love that. And that's so Salvo, hey? Just to get up and testify when the Lord tells you to. The SA was pretty much founded on prophesy and the testimonies of the saved, and I think that's God's calling over Dangerous. That's sure neat.
Shawn videotaped it like a proud dad at a ballet recital, getting what is probably best described as obnoxiously close to my face with the camera during prayer. He took notes for us to discuss at our next meeting, which I am waiting for Mike to announce. And by waiting, I mean prodding impatiently for a date.

There's probably more I could say. Hosanna is finishing the Quest series this Thursday, then we'll be starting Spiritual Gifts after a few weeks of follow up on Quest and studying what, exactly, Christianity IS. I'm already quite sure of what each of their gifts are, but we'll see. I'd rather not do one of those "Spiritual gifts tests", but we'll see.
Raw is in about 5 days. I'm pretty stoked.

My verse of the week is pretty much the entire book of Nehemiah, chapter 4 in particular. Verse 14 stands out as a favorite as well. Look it up, sissas and brahs.

Grace, peace.
Caitlyn.

When your body wants to run
But your heart knows you're better than that
The blood you spilled on battlefields
I promise you will not go unspent
Neither will I leave you stranded
The promise rings as our battle cry
You're never alone regardless of doubt
But faith comes so easy to some
-The Classic Crime, Warrior Poet (like me!)

An email from Shayna <3

Dear Caitlyn,

First off, we're so in love. I'm so proud of you. You are so strong and it has just been radiating off of you lately. You have shown so much adversity and maturity lately, it puts me to shame!

The first thing you always ask me is "knee news?" and it makes me smile everytime. The fact that even though you may be having a horrible day, your friends come first is nothing but commendable and I'm in total awe of you.

I've had the priviledge of watching you grow over these past 3 years and it's something that I'm so blessed to have witnessed (and I'm not talking about your ever changing hair and clothing!). You have become such a beautiful woman and I'm so proud of who you have become. Thank you for everything that you teach me everyday. Please don't ever doubt yourself, you are truly an amazing human being.

You are the best person I know and I love you so much sometimes it hurts.

<3x8 minutes a day
Your non-biological big sister
Shayna Rochelle Noren