List of love.

So I decide that I want to make a list of love.

Love:
Jesus, Jehovah, the Holy Ghost
Flag dancing
when people read to me
laying on the Variety cabin deck with Carlye
Preaching/public speaking
Singing really loud in my room to my mirror to Paramore
The last 2 minutes of Big Shot by Straylight Run
the Hosanna Bible study girls: Tiana, Keeley, Jen
Frozen grapes
When Taylor sings Straylight Run
Molly's wittiness
When Josh Reno is on fire with the Spirit
Worship sessions that feel like a part of Heaven touches Earth
Reading the Bible. . .loud
Shayna's amazing advice and terrific listening to ranting skills
Picnics with Janelle
Drives with Jen
Spare blocks with Dorothy
The last 40 seconds of Do You Think Dusty is Still in the Slammer? by Flee The Seen
The amazing cake that Katie made in foods last week
Seeing my favorite bands live
Hanging out with my favorite bands
Any gathering of Christians in a Holy setting
Hours spent on the beach in prayer
Writing poetry in the ocean
The Ocean
Phone calls that keep me up way too late, but I wouldn't trade for the world
When I dance in the sanctuary at church to Daryl's ipod and people think I'm sweet
Most things by Douglas Coupland
Holding hands
long periods of silence
poetry.

Sometimes sleep feels like prison

I've never been an espesially patient person, honestly. And these quiet Saturday nights are the worst.
I mean, the blankets and movies and homework are all fine and good, but the feeling that, at this moment, hundreds of thousands of people DON'T know God renders me feeling useless.
And I'm probably holding myself back, just that I'm not out of school doesn't mean that I can't get anything done. It just sure feels like it. I want to move out, I want to bust out and do this. I'm damn scared, but I want to do this.
I really don't think God wants me to be wasting my time on the computer right now. I'm going on a prayer walk or something.
I also need to be given my children's story for tomorrow. So I should probably be spending some time being quiet and waiting for that.

Carved our names into concrete and snow

We sat on the edge of the frozen lake
and stared into it, thinking how it looked like eternity.
You said:
"let's go inside, I'm freezing"
But I just smiled and watched the snowflakes fall from your eyelashes
like little mirrors of eternity.
I think you understood, because we stayed there for hours
our cheeks flushed with our body's feeble attempts at
keeping us warm.
"How long do you think we'll be trapped in this cold?"
I asked
and you said
"Until the Spring comes, and I swear to you, the Spring will come"
"But, god, it feels like Winter lasts forever these days. "
"I promise you the Spring will come."

The summer sends it's love to you.

You think if I start telling people how I feel, your death wouldn't be in vain.
Your death was in vain, we all know that.
But you taught me some amazing things.
If I get fired, I should just continue showing up for work, it worked for you.
three times.
And I should live life to the full and tell people what they mean to me.
I never told you how great you were.
Anyone who met you fell in love with you.
And now I write blog entries in past-tense about you.
I hope to see you again.
Any christian will tell me I never will,
but I'd give my soul for yours.
I'll start telling people how I truley feel about them, how beautiful they are.
I'll try not to let this be in vain.

Ryan Jubenville
May 23rd 1988- May 8th 2006
Just short of your 18th damn birthday.
Nice job.

I hate English 12

So I decide that Edgar Allan Poe would be very unpopular at parties.
He's the guy that would walk in and people would turn their backs and give the silent treatment to. So he'd stand by the punch bowl, shifting awkwardly and would attempt to capture the attention of any poor victim party-goer who only wants a mini bologna sandwich. He'd render them defenceless with his pitiful gaze and would launch into a long, pointless, over-descriptive, under-situated story about mortality. All the while, the sandwich aficianado is edging silently away from him nodding his head every few minutes and exclaiming "oh, really? That's interesting"while trying desperatly to find an excuse out of the situation.
I wouldn't hang out with him.

And the poison is breaking our skin

This is huge.
I don't know if you realize how huge this is. I only just did now.
You don't even realize what a burden the money I'd need to move to Victoria was on my heart, and how scared I was of messing up on supporting myself. I've never done it before.
You don't even realize that saving money is what was holding me back from the War College or the Battle School.
You don't even know how much this means.
Taylor, we need to pray and fast this, because if this is God's will of you for me, my life is gonna get freaking turned upside down. There will be social consequence for these actions.

On the second day at camp, I realized how stumbled I was getting by my constant worrying of what God's path for me was after I graduate. Working at camp? War College? Battle School? Victoria? Booth College? How will I be able to financially support any of this? What if I take the path I want and miss my chance to do what God wants?
I was getting hung up on the future.
But seek first the kingdom, right? I'm gonna live my life, running as far as I can in the time allotted each day to spread the Spirit and advance the Kingdom as fast and far as I can.
And I'm gonna go day by day and let Him reveal His plans as we go.
I realized all of this at around the same time that Taylor started believe that God wanted him to pay for my living in Victoria. He just told me tonight.
See how faithful God is?!
So how he stays to his word?!
I'm seeking Him and he reveals things like this to me.
He's so Good.
So good.
He will never leave us nor foresake us.

I'll live for today and focus putting on my armor on keeping myself holy unto Him and he'll tell me what to do when I'm done being made ready.

"Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you"
-Joshua 3:5

<3
Peace.

Our God comes and will not be silent!

My eyes sting and embrace the few seconds they are closed while blinking.
But I can't go to sleep until I write something, anything.

He is moving, stirring.
The scar-covered outstreched arms of his children
have caught his attention
and the Father and his children weep together;
mourning for the lost souls of sons and daughters,
brothers and sisters.

He leads them by fire in the darkness,
taking them into the foreign lands
taking back the ground once stolen from him
taking the kingdom.

We, the children of the revolution, do not lag far behind him.
He issues his commands at daybreak,
and by dusk we have declared the war
and died a thousand times over.
He sends us not amongst the strong
but summons the people of the slums.
He cannot ignore their cries.

And so we set out
on barefoot,
on enemy grounds,
on angel's wings.

Spend our time and energy fighting hard
against an enemy that wants to steal far more than just our lives.
He wants our eternity.
And we cry and we pray until our chests heave from brokenness of our hearts;
The father's heart.
We praise and dance until our legs give out and our backs ache
from the repeated pounding of feet on ashphalt
(not on streets of gold, as they will one day be)
We prophesy and dream until there are no more possibilties
and we have seen all of our Father's plans.

We keep our eyes on Zion and imagine His perfect beauty.
all with the hope that one day, we will win.
That one day, we will be called home.
And our Father will run through the Heavens rejoicing and cry out

"My children are free! My children are free!"

And we will be free.

Who says emo-core? People don't say emo-core.

Okay, I'm praying for big things.
BIG things.
I'm not down with moderatly-sized things, or slightly-above-average things or even somewhat large things. I want herds-of-elephants big. I want camp to get freakin soaked in Holy Spirit (but preferably not rain. your call, God).
I want God's hand to weigh down on us so hard we can barely stand and we can't speak because our voices are pushed somewhere below our hearts.
I want Holiness to flood, I want Hope to pour, I want Love to crush us.
I want us to be left in bewilderment, looking towards the sky and asking how God is capable of such a amzing things and to be left in a state or reverance and awe.
I want Revolution, I want Revival, I want all of the things that the Salvation Army was built to represent but have seemingly been lost over time and broken tents.
I want to see His Glory shining on the hands of teenagers and leaders alike.
I just want this all so baad.

Camp= 16 hours

Victory of the People said...
ya know startin'er up...usually mean to keep it started!
haha lol

You know what, Nicole Brindle?
I don't need your sass.
<3
Peace.

Startin'er up. For serious this time.

Okay, so.
Seeing as how this is my first official blog post, I should intro myself or something.
I'm Caitlyn. I'm a Salvationist Soldier and pretty much dig God a lot.
I do neat things, I lead a Bible study for kids and one for teen girls. I don't have too many friends, but I have a heck of a lot of best friends.
I freeze grapes, and they taste amazing; I dance with big flags and I write essays for fun.
I write poetry and I suck at drawing. I have a passion for conversation and teaching and view articulation as an art.
I fight with my civ teacher a lot, but we're really best friends.

Actual blog:
This summer, God called me to step it up. Those of you who know me saw the change. I was given a passion for the unloved and the poor in spirit and basically everything that Jesus wanted us to have passion for. Apathy was a huge problem before the summer, I was very: "What is God gonna do for me today now that I'm living for him?". But he gave me the spirit of service that I needed and set a fire under me.
He gave me a passion for spiritual warfare and taught me that there is more to being a warrior than fighting my own personal sin. He taught me about things that had to be done in both Nanaimo and Victoria. He gave me hope, he gave me fire, he gave me amazing relationships and connections and strength that I am more than a little bit undeserving of.
I learned that nothing is impossible and that there's more to life than I've always been told there was. That I'm meant for more than waking up, getting a steady career and dying. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
He taught me I was meant to do something way bigger than myself, tha Holiness and revival are coming and that moments spent on the beach in prayer are some of the most well-spent minutes of the day.

Camp is in 4 days. I'm supposed to talk to some people about The War College cause I kinda maybe feel like dropping everything and going there. Who knows.

If they said 40 years, I would die before I let them take
the love that I have paid for with my tears.
And now the time has come to cut our tongues out
And commit ourselves, as you did in your memory.

We'll tear down the walls and let them know
We could have it all, we could have some hope
This city could be ours by nightfall
We'll tear down the walls and let them know
We could have it all, we could have some hope
This city could be ours by nightfall
-The Classic Crime, Bitter Uprising.

Peace.