at night I feel I've been forgotten by the dawn

I find myself awake at night, looking at the long-drawn ribbons of light that travel beneith the reality of my midnight windowsill. I pray to God there is more. The fulfilled life, the one no longer needing to be purpose driven or guilt ridden, seems either unreal or all too resistable. My Lord is Good! I should have no complaint!
He is infinatly good, in fact. There is no fault within Him and He is just in all of His ways and judgments. He has created the stars and stretches our their lengthened residence as a tent for us to live beneith. He is wholly good.
My soul churns within me. Seemingly beckoned by two safe harbours; I am a wave tossed at sea. My savior, I beg you rescue me.
I am full of desire for you.
I will seek you endlessly.
I will not forget you, nor the things you have done for me.
I might sleep some nights, but I am wracked with my contemplatin of your ways.
I yearn to understand that which you have shown me.
Why do I feel I have eyes that see, ears that hear
and a heart that can not understand.
Hosanna. Lord.
caitlyn.