It's not longer I that liveth.

So here's the thing:
I'm pretty inept in mostly any form of social engagement. I can't really form a sentence around someone that I haven't know for at least 2 years. It's actually taken me 2 years to feel comfortable talking to the majority of my youth group. But the second those people become my friends, I don't forget it easily. The people I openly love and respect now, I will still openly respect and love 20 years from now.
This is, prom is going to be me in a room of about 150 of the kids I've never, ever let in that way. And almost every kid I ever HAVE will be kickin it at a different prom.
And yeah, you know what? I am super bummed by that. But I'll live. The only part of tomorrow I'm looking forward to is taking prom pictures with my youth group and dancing with Jesse.

Wearing my tunic to school on Tuesday was amazing. Like, it kinda changes your demeanor, wearing something like that to a high school. It's not like wearing a cross necklace, or getting a fish tattooed to your forearm, it's definitely a lot more aggressive. I was blessed by it a lot. Just little comments throughout the day. From Nick Paisley asking me the difference between a soldiers uniform and a captains (and then defending me to his friends) to Mr. Poppy telling me stories about his father and grandfather, who were officers in the Army in Scotland and part of the Citadel band. The best part of the day was the last 3 hours of school. We had this huge grad assembly about drinking and driving, and a lady whose daughter had been killed in a car accident on prom night told her story of loss and mourning. Afterwards I thanked her and hugged her. She recognized the tunic and asked me to pray with her and begged me to keep my friends safe on prom night. She was crying while she was hugging me and she apologized for getting tears on my jacket. I said "No, it's okay. I'm fairly sure there's no article of clothing more suitable for tears to fall on."
Pretty much just incredible.
And though it still makes me kind of uncomfortable to be wearing a piece of uniform that displays a title that I do not have (last time I checked, I should definitely have blue epaulets with no stars, not red ones with 2) it was still a blessing to me and the people around me, and gave me several chances to share my faith and the SA's Doctrine with several people.

I'm out. I should probably get a decent amount of sleep before prom.
I love you all.
God's grace be with you.

Caitlyn.