Consider me, the comfortable, afflicted.

x Shayna- There ain't no waffles in Belgium says:
I'm proud of you
x Shayna- There ain't no waffles in Belgium says:
just for everything
Caitlyn.. these hearts are yours says:
really?
x Shayna- There ain't no waffles in Belgium says:
yea
Caitlyn.. these hearts are yours says:
why?
x Shayna- There ain't no waffles in Belgium says:
because you're following your heart and you have so much courage that you don't even know you have
Caitlyn.. these hearts are yours says:
I love you so much!
x Shayna- There ain't no waffles in Belgium says:
I love you too!
x Shayna- There ain't no waffles in Belgium says:
DON'T CRY
x Shayna- There ain't no waffles in Belgium says:
lol, you'll ruin the moment

That's my unbiological big sister Shayna, whom I love like crazy.
So I was thinking in the shower, if God comforts and afflicted and afflicts the comfortable, I sure am afflicted. It's hard for me to live in this house, eat the food and drive in my parents cars. It's getting REALLY hard, this feels so backwards and wrong. I had an argument with my dad some months ago regarding the poor. My dad is a Jehovah's Witness, right? And I was raised one and believe that they love the same Christ as I, they just get a little confused about some religion and theology. Anyways, assuming that my father and I adore the same Saviour, I asked dad if he would like to man a kettle that week, because we were so short. His response? He laughed. That was really hard for me, driving in the passenger seat of his 2006 Magnum and having him chuckle about the idea of helping the Salvation Army's efforts with the downtown poor. I asked him why and he said "Jehovah's Witnesses don't DO that, it's celebrating Christmas". I asked him what Jehovah's Witnesses DID do for the poor, and he responded with an indifferant, "nothing, really". I brought up the verse where Jesus talks about a docter coming to heal the sick, not deal with the healthy and he talked about how, sometimes, he was sure his brothers and sisters in the organisation went downtown with tracts and books. That was still really hard. Jesus didn't just offer paper to the homeless and sinners, he washed their feet. I don't think a congregation of JW's (or at least tnot the ones I was brought up with) would react very well at ALL to a homeless person coming into a service. Since then, my dad has bought a new car, a new couch, three lazyboy chairs and has considered a summerhome. And since then, I've been seriously afflicted. I can't do this, it's hetting so hard. I've never been one of the kids who buys a lot of clothes or cares who's name is on their cereal box, but it's getting hard to watch my dad, who believes Christ died for his sins, buy a cabin he'll only see a few weeks of the year. We'll have an empty cabin for 10 months and someone downtown could be praying to whatever God listens for a warm bed and a hug. One time I quote St. Francis to my dad, Prech the gospel, and, if neccesary, speak. My dad said "yeah, but he wasn't a Jehovah's Witness". Well, no, because Jehovah's Witnesses weren't founded for quite some time, but he believe in the same Christ, didn't he?
This is just al real hard. I'm a kid who, if I found out my ipod (if I had one) was made by some kids in a dark factory, I'd have a real hard time touching it. it's hard for my to live in thise house, where we spend our blessings like they belong to us, and we give freely unto the corperation as we had freely given unto us.
I need to break out. I need to live how I always dreamed, minaminlly as possible in some slum district, probably never having a real career. But I probably can't give up on my dad. Mother Teresa said that in the rich, we find a differant kind of poverty, we find loneliness. I don't doubt my dad is lonely. But this is soo hard. But Jesus never said it would be easy, right? Things that easy can be done on our own, it's the hard things where we relaise how badly we need God in our lives. cynicisym takes very little energy, I need to start finding other ways to deal with this.
I have no clue what'll happen when I finish highschool. I don't think I'm the kind of person that'll ever have a real career, I'll be too busy loving people all the time.

"What would a twenty-year-old Jesus have said if they asked him 'What are you going to do when you grow up?' I don't know, probably something like, 'I'm going to turn the world upside-down. I'm going to hang out with tax collecters and prostitutes until they kill me.' Or what would Peter have said? 'Well, I was going to be a fisherman, but then I met this dude, and he messed all that up.'" -Shane Claiborne

Those should be our answers, or something like that, shouldn't they? This world gets so caught up in where we're going, what we are going to do. We as followers of Christ need to start focusing on who we are becoming (as Christ-like as possible, hopefully) and what Christ is going to do with US.

Grace and peace.
<3.