ht:: JW

My friend Jessica took this photo and I think it's amazing. I thought Iwould post it for everyone to enjoy :)

I love these words.

Hear her voice as it's rolling and ringing through me, soft and sweet,
How the notes all bend and reach above the trees.
Now how I remember you;
How I would push my fingers through your mouth
to make those muscles move,
That made your voice so smooth and sweet.
Now we keep where we don't know;
All secrets sleep in winters clothes
With one you loved so long ago
Now he don't even know his name.
from "The Aeroplane Over the Sea" - Neutral Milk Hotel, The Aeroplane Over the Sea

Just so you know...

Albums I have recently been listening to:

Damnation - Opeth
Float - Flogging Molly
Wolfmother - Wolfmother
Favourite Worst Nightmare - The Arctic Monkeys
In the Aeroplane Over the Sea - Neutral Milk Hotel
40oz. to Freedom - Sublime
Seven Swans - Sufjan Stevens
Robbers and Cowards - The Cold War Kids

This week for years.

I created this blog in 2006, and have remained -for the most part- faithful to regular posting since then. There is something both lame and relatively cool in that, as I can now look through archives and see what I posted on certain days.

This week in 2007 reads:

(Post-trip with Nicole to DTES)
War College.
I'm still not sure, or if I am I'm unsure about my surity. It was amazing, it was scary, it was confusing, it was intense, it was eye-opening.
It took me being there to realize how sheltered I am. I've never been in any environment half that intense. But I was so scared, and so uneasy and so in love with it.
Who knows. This is where it stands. I could see myself at War College, and I plan on it. I just don't know when or how.
(PS: I miss my bestfriendship with you like mad.)

One year later, this was my entry:

You alone are my comfort.
You alone are sturdy in my life.
If only there were some place where I could run from you! Some place where I, alone in my misery, might not be overwhelmed by your goodness. Some place where realities divide, and I need not believe truth which I know in the depths of me, but allow that which I see to comfort me.
Yet still I shall praise you, I hope I will know joy again.
You remain good. You remain patient. You remain unchanged.
Do not reject me while I flee from you because of my fear, father.
When I speak of forever why do I never see
You've already captured me.
I remain yours in my flight. I follow you even in my roaming.
You are the one constant in my life.
Be patient with me, O Merciful One.

I am encouraged by my growth, though unsettled by my repetitive stumbling.
He has grace and patience for me, and I am ever being made more like Him.

Thinking about golden crowns and white gowns.

In the dreams, I am wearing white and you are nowhere in sight.
I sit alone by clear pools, hesitant to move,
assured of your presance and your love for sinners and fools.
The waters shine upwards to the sky, shining down
and I catch the reflection of you beside me,
adorning me with an ornate crown.

Your voice rushes through the leaves in the oak trees
and speaks to me, saying,

"You are never forgotten, never foresaken,
and never from your saviours hand shall you be taken
You, with me, are one for eternity; you have been atoned for
and here in quiet beauty we will forever rest, in the valley of Achor."

Freedom - Run Kid Run

Oh my chains,
I can't disengage,
I don't believe that I want to,
One hand sings your praise, the other brings me shame,
I have selfishness to blame...

And I'm singing for freedom,
I know I'm not the only one praying to the one,
Who can bring me this freedom,
I'm ready for change, change, change, change...

Looking down I lay,
I keep holding my chains,
No longer bound but here I stay,
I scream father please,
I need rescuing,
I need you and you alone...

And I'm singing for freedom,
I know I'm not the only one praying to the one,
Who can bring me this freedom,
I'm ready for, I'm ready for...

Still you patiently await yet I won't just let go,
I see you and you alone,
Say come follow me cause there is you can't see

So I'm singing for freedom,
So I'm singing for freedom...
The time has come-separation lost the war to love,
Take my hand, grace is found-yeah-where your words begin,
You're alive, you're alive,
In the waking of new life,
Take my hand, in the end there's only love...

There's only love

There's only singing for freedom,
I know I'm not the only one praying to the one,
Who can bring me this freedom,
I'm ready for, I'm ready for-
Father please, I need rescuing
I need you and you alone...

You will tire of me, though I'm not who I used to be.

I come unhinged
the wires that worked their way through my skin
now unweave themselves painfully from me like
children chasing terrorists out of middle-eastern allyways.

I am now as fixed as water,
mallible as fresh clay.

Without the prison of bone structure
the reworking will be nowhere near as painful
and I am ready to trade this heart for yours.