Memoirs of a Jehovah's Witness kid.

So, last night, Molly, Katelyn and I were laughing over stories form our separate childhoods. Molly and Kate's mostly consisted of surgeries and gymnastics classes - neither of which I've ever been a part of. My stories were all about my quest to convert my entire elementary class to Jehovah's Witness(ism?) through kindergarden to grade 7.
When I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, we had a show-and-tell day in which we showed the present that Santa gave to us and told everyone how awesome it was. I, being a JW, had obviously not recieved any presents, and was getting tired of hearing about everyone's pagan gift stories. So,when my turn on the stool at the front of the class came around, I sat down and said these immortal words:
"Santa is not real. It's only your parents. Neither is the tooth fairy."
The class quickly turned into a heated debate and I was kindly asked to stand in the hallway until sharing time was over.
But that didn't end my Show-and-tell evangelism. When I was in 5th grade, I brought a piece of JW literature about Jesus called "The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived". I then opened the book to a picture of John the Baptist's head on a silver platter and told this story:
"This is Jesus' cousin John. He got his head cut off because a girl danced at a birthday party and then the king gave her John's head as a present even though he was best friends with Jesus. That's why you shouldn't celebrate birthdays."

Also, in grade 4,when all the girls had Spice Girl-inspired platform shoes and I didn't, I told my classmates that "I have a pair, but they are made of mirrors and they are illegal, because a girl in Mexico was wearing the same ones and a person got blinded from the sun shining off of them. So if I wore them, I could goto jail."
That story is not about evangelizing my class, but it was the most ridiculous thing I think a 10 year old could say.